Month: October 2009

Bewildered, Part II

 

Stale Content Alert!

This post was written a long time ago, and my views have almost certainly evolved since then. Please keep that in mind while reading, commenting, or sharing.

Recall.

Only this time, it’s the rough draft of a Core paper, not a philosophical essay.

Nevertheless, it’s pretty much the same situation all over again. My brain won’t come up with original thoughts, or when I think I have a great idea, it gets completely and totally locked in my head the moment I sit down and try to write it. I can think about it, but the words just won’t flow in the slightest. I end up trying to back up my ideas with multiple snippets of quotes or episodes, rather than honing in on selective episodes and picking them apart for detail like I know I should. I know I should be doing close reading, analyzing smaller parts of the text, using a “microscope rather than a panoramic lens,” so to speak, but my brain just won’t do it. I don’t know how, or at least I feel like I don’t.

My brain feels like it’s not working at all– or if it is, it’s deliberately working against me.

What has gone wrong with me? Why, all of a sudden, am I unable to think well– or express my thoughts through words?

And again, I doubt my being here; and again, I feel hopelessly lost and crushed.

Bewildered

 

Stale Content Alert!

This post was written a long time ago, and my views have almost certainly evolved since then. Please keep that in mind while reading, commenting, or sharing.

I’m going to sleep tonight feeling as crappy as can be.

I have incredibly severe doubts about myself right now. I’m doubting my own capabilities, my supposed talents, and really anything that I once thought made me special. (Yes, it’s true, this is that kind of blog post.)

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